Reflection

My paper had both strengths and weaknesses. A few weaknesses were my thesis statement, the clarity of sentences and telling my stories. I have always struggled with thesis statements but the workshop helped a lot. I figured if I let my class break it apart it would be easier for me to develop it on my own time. Everyone was afraid to do it so I did. It helped me understand what I did wrong. My sentences sometimes sound like I'm babbling on paper. Everything always makes sense in my head but then when I put it on paper it doesn't make any sense. Once I read it over I can sometimes catch my mistakes and fix them. When I tell stories in my essays I expect people to know what I know. I forget that I'm telling a story for a reason. Then when I remember that I need to give some extra details I give too much. Besides weaknesses my paper has many strengths. When ever I analyze something I do a great job. I great with details when it comes to analyzing things. I describe the situations in paper very well.

I did not really enjoy peer review at all. It was some what helpful but not really. Only two people were helpful when giving me feedback. My group was helpful with my thesis statement.

Draft #2

Faith Ford

English 112

February 10, 2014

Outline

How Long Will They Mourn Me?

Waking up to know I had a day to plan what I was putting on my graduation cap was probably the most exciting experience I had my senior year. A big red and gold “17” with a prom queen crown right on top. Never would I have thought I would have to change that “17” to “R.I.P.” My friend Issaac Smith was murdered the night of June 16, 2013, five days before graduation. "I wish it could have been another. How long will they mourn my brother?" This is the question I ask myself all the time. The pain from grief and mourning someone is the worst pain you can feel. You feel empty, alone, confused, angry, and so much more. The experience of losing my friend this past summer taught me not to give up and wallow in the pain but to turn that pain into willpower.

I had astronomy with Mrs. Sikka for first period. Issaac was in that class with me. He would always manage to put a smile on my face that early in the morning. At one point during the semester I remember he was telling me about his problems with his father. Soon after, he would have to move to New Haven and commute daily for school in New Britain. This created many hardships for him. Waking up every morning at 4am for school wasn’t early enough to get to first period for about 3 weeks. He missed his lunch period and stayed after school to make sure all his work was caught up in that class. He would always ask me if we took notes or had homework. He was determined to graduate.

When I think about Issaac’s work ethic I get so upset. He was shot was shot over a sneaker exchange. There are many different stories to go along with the situation but a life is not worth a pair of sneakers. To know someone so motivated and ready to live life get that opportunity taken away over a pair of sneakers is disgusting.  I regret how many opportunities I have passed up because of laziness or just being ungrateful. I have the privilege to further my education meanwhile my friend who would have had the same is lying six feet under. It just makes you think about things differently. It’s terrible how something bad has to happen in order for us to appreciate things the way we’re suppose to.

Praying is something I did on a regular basis before I prayed at a vigil. When you realize you are praying for a friend who should be holding your hand during that prayer you break down. At that vigil I realized my friend was not coming back. No matter how hard I asked in my prayers I knew he was gone. I thought about the people who actually lost a son, brother, or best friend. How could a class work so hard to keep a prom promise yet still have an empty chair at graduation? I’ll never forget that vigil. Strangers crying on stranger. Even though we didn’t know each other  we all had something in common.

Everytime I tell someone where I’m from I get a certain look. “You are from New Britain? Oh.” I’ll never forget the time I wa telling someone about Issaac and the response I received was “Well you should be use to things like that happening since you are from New Britain.” I did not know exactly what to say back. I just toned them out and thought about how everyone came together and brought each other through this tragedy. We came together as a student body and a city. I remember everyone telling each other simple things like “I love you” and “Stay safe”. It was nice to know we were all in it together.

Our big day was bittersweet. Waking up to know that I was finally graduating was the best feeling I have had in my life. But the only thing that bothered me was knowing one family would not get to watch their child walk across the stage. During the ceremony Issaac’s sister wore his cap and gown and received his diploma. After the ceremony I ran to my dad to get a surpise for Issaac’s family. My mom bought a banner in memory of Issaac. It was beautiful. I kept it on my living room table so who ever wanted to sign it could. I asked everyone who signed it to give me a dollar to put in a card to go to his family. I will never forget the look on their faces when we unraveled the banner. It was a mix of comfort and pain. I could tell they loved it but wish they did not have to be in that predicament.

Hugging a father who lost his son on Father’s Day is something I can never forget. When we unraveled the banner he half smiled and looked down because he was choking back tears. He got up and embraced me. I could not say a word. He did not say thank you like Issaac’s mom kept saying over and over. The hug was overwhelming I could feel his gratitude. At that moment I realized that I am still alive and need to exceed at everything Issaac could not do, not only for him but for myself. Seeing how quick someone can be taken drove me crazy.

Issaac would not want us to be sad and mourn for too long but he would not want us to forget him. I want people to remember and the good things I have done. I want people to know I was here. Loosing Issaac was something I never expected but it opened my eyes to things I could not see before. Things such as I am someone with a future, someone who has something to offer, someone who can say “I was here.”

Faith Ford

Eng. 112

Feb. 10th, 2014

Outline

How Long Will They Mourn Me?

Waking up to know I had a day to plan what I was getting on my graduation cap was probably the most exciting experience I had my senior year. A big red and gold 17 with a prom queen crown right on top. Never would I have thought I’d have to change that 17 to an R.I.P. My friend Issaac Smith was murdered the night of June 16th, 2013, five days before graduation. "I wish it could've been another. How long will they mourn my brother?" This is something I ask myself all the time. The pain from grief and mourning someone is the worst pain you can feel. You feel empty, alone, confused, angry, and so much more. The experience of losing my friend this past summer taught me not to give up and wallow in the pain but to turn that pain into ambition.

First period I had astronomy with Mrs. Sikka. Issaac was in that class with me. He would always manage to put a smile on my first that early in the morning. At one point during the semester I remember he was telling me about his problems with his father. He had to move to New Haven but still went to school in New Britain. He woke up every morning at 4am to get to school but still managed to miss 1st period for about 3 weeks. He missed his lunch period and stayed after school to make sure all his work was caught up in that class. He would always ask me if we took notes or had homework. He was determined to graduate.

When I think about Issaac’s work ethic I get so upset. To know someone so motivated and ready to live life get that opportunity taken away over a pair of sneakers is disgusting. I regret how many opportunities I have passed up because of laziness or just being ungrateful. I have the privilege to further my education meanwhile my friend who would have had the same is lying six feet under. It just makes you think about things differently. It’s terrible how something bad has to happen in order for us to appreciate things like the way we’re suppose to.

Praying is something I did on a regular basis before I prayed at a vigil. When you realize you are praying for a friend who should be holding your hand during that prayer you break down. At that vigil I realized my friend was not coming back. No matter how hard I asked in my prayers I knew he was gone. I thought about the people who actually lost a son, brother, or bestfriend. How could a class work so hard to keep a prom promise yet still have an empty chair at graduation? I’ll never forget that vigil. Strangers crying on stranger. Even though we didn’t know each other  we all had something in common. We were mourning the same person.

Everytime I tell someone where I’m from I get a certain look. “You’re from New Britain? Oh.” I’ll never forget the time I wa telling someone about Issaac and the response I received was “Well you should be use to things like that happening since you’re from New Britain.” I didn’t know exactly what to say back. I just toned them out and thought about how everyone came together and brought each other through this tragedy. We came together as a student body and a city. I remember everyone telling each other simple things like “I love you” and “stay safe”. It was nice to know we were all in it together.

Our big day was bittersweet. Waking up to know that I was finally graduating was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life. But the only thing that bothered me was knowing one family wouldn’t get to watch their child walk across the stage. During the ceremony Issaac’s sister wore his cap and gown and received his diploma. After the ceremony I ran to my dad to get a surpise for Issaac’s family. My mom bought a banner in memory of Issaac. It was beautiful. I kept it on my living room table so who ever wanted to sign it could. I asked everyone who signed it to give me a dollar to put in a card to go to his family. I’ll never forget the look on their faces when we unraveled the banner. It was mixed with comfort and pain. I could tell they loved it but wish they didn’t have to be in that predicament.

Hugging a father who lost his son on father’s day is something I can never forget. When we unraveled the banner he half smiled and looked down because he was choking back tears. He got up and embraced me. I couldn’t say a word. He didn’t say thank you like Issaac’s mom kept saying over and over. The hug was overwhelming I could feel his thankfulness. At that moment I realized that I’m still alive and need to exceed at everything Issaac couldn’t do, not only for him but for myself. Seeing how quick someone can be taken drove me crazy.

Issaac wouldn’t want us to be sad and mourn for too long but he wouldn’t want us to forget him. That’s how I feel when I’m gone I want people to remember and the good thing I have done. I want people to know I was here. Loosing Issaac was something I never expected but it opened my eyes to things I couldn’t see before. Things such as I am someone with a future. Someone who has something to offer, someone who can say “I was here".

Faith Ford

Eng. 112

Feb. 10th, 2014

Outline

How Long Will They Mourn Me?

Waking up to know I had a day to plan what I was getting on my graduation cap was probably the most exciting experience I had my senior year. A big red and gold 17 with a prom queen crown right on top. Never would I have thought I’d have to change that 17 to an R.I.P. My friend Issaac Smith was murdered the night of June 16th, 2013, five days before graduation. "I wish it could've been another. How long will they mourn my brother?" This is something I ask myself all the time. The pain from grief and mourning someone is the worst pain you can feel. You feel empty, alone, confused, angry, and so much more. The experience of losing my friend this past summer taught me not to give up and wallow in the pain but to turn that pain into ambition.

First period I had astronomy with Mrs. Sikka. Issaac was in that class with me. He would always manage to put a smile on my first that early in the morning. At one point during the semester I remember he was telling me about his problems with his father. He had to move to New Haven but still went to school in New Britain. He woke up every morning at 4am to get to school but still managed to miss 1st period for about 3 weeks. He missed his lunch period and stayed after school to make sure all his work was caught up in that class. He would always ask me if we took notes or had homework. He was determined to graduate.

When I think about Issaac’s work ethic I get so upset. To know someone so motivated and ready to live life get that opportunity taken away over a pair of sneakers is disgusting. I regret how many opportunities I have passed up because of laziness or just being ungrateful. I have the privilege to further my education meanwhile my friend who would have had the same is lying six feet under. It just makes you think about things differently. It’s terrible how something bad has to happen in order for us to appreciate things like the way we’re suppose to.

Praying is something I did on a regular basis before I prayed at a vigil. When you realize you are praying for a friend who should be holding your hand during that prayer you break down. At that vigil I realized my friend was not coming back. No matter how hard I asked in my prayers I knew he was gone. I thought about the people who actually lost a son, brother, or bestfriend. How could a class work so hard to keep a prom promise yet still have an empty chair at graduation? I’ll never forget that vigil. Strangers crying on stranger. Even though we didn’t know each other  we all had something in common. We were mourning the same person.

Everytime I tell someone where I’m from I get a certain look. “You’re from New Britain? Oh.” I’ll never forget the time I wa telling someone about Issaac and the response received was “Well you should be use to things like happening since you’re from New Britain.” I didn’t know exactly what to say back. I just toned them out and thought about how everyone came together and got each other through this tragedy. We came together as a student body and a city. I remember everyone telling each other simple things like “I love you” and “stay safe”. It was nice to know we were all in it together.

Blog 5T

Organization Strategies 

1. Chronological Order
2. Order of Information
3. Topical/Thematic
4. Contrast --> Change 

Thesis Workshop

T= Analysis

t= story 

The pain from grief and mourning someone is the worst pain you can feel.

-Needs to be more argumentative.

Peer Suggestions

The experience of losing my friend and my grandfather this post summer taught me

... to continue moving forward to accomplish things they would both be proud of.

... to never take life for granted because anything can happen.

... strength can come from pain.

... always provede yourself with challenges..short life.

Faith Ford

Eng. 112

Feb. 10th, 2014

Outline

How Long Will They Mourn Me?

Death is a scary thing to think about. No one wants to lose someone they love or know. The pain from grief and mourning someone is the worst pain you can feel. You feel empty, alone, confused, angry, and so much more. "I wish it could've been another. How long will they mourn my brother?" This is something I ask myself all the time. Why do people lose to me have to be taken. It's hard to accept but it makes you stronger. Knowing that person gets to watch over you until you meet again is the best feeling ever.

This year past summer two people were taken away from this world. One was Issaac Smith. It was a sad time because Issaac was murdered 5 days before graduation. It was June 16th, 2013 the night of Father’s Day. It took everyone by surprise. Issaac was the boy in school that everyone loved. He just had a smile that made you smile. I was not his best friend but we had a bond. We both ran track. Every time I would prepare for the high jump he would be right there to cheer me on. It’s the simple things I remember.

Blog 4R

Peer Review is something that I have never been comfortable with. In this class it seems like something I should get use to. Usually when I'm revising someone essay I focus a lot of grammatical errors. I don't really like to critique people's papers because of there feelings. I know personally when I work really hard on something and someone tears it apart I feel offended. I forget that sometimes people are just trying to help you and give constructive criticism.                       

Some of the tips that were given in class such as,

• Be open minded 
• What you put in is what you get out
• Don't judge be a reader
• Highlight what work & what needs to be strengthened 

Being open minded and trying not to judge the reader will get you through the paper regardless of any opinions you agree or disagree with. Highlighting what needs to be stronger is a better way to suggest you need to do more work. Instead of tearing the paper apart sharing this will make the reader a ltttle more confident and not self conscious of there writing.

Blog 4T

Peer Review

Purpose: One step in the writing process and get feedback of your work.

-Revision

-Gain a different perspective --> Who knows the assignment

-Practice skills of reading 

-Gives some space (tunnel vision) > fresh eyes

-See other strategies/approaches/mistakes

Potential Cons

-Wrong advice

-People don't put time & effort 

-Too nice/Too mean

-Worried about feelings

-I can't comment/help because lack of skill

-Defensive because it's personal

Potential Pros

-More eyes on the paper

-Good feedback

-Groups working together everyone is equal/balance each other out

-Practice run

Tips 

1. Be respectful/constructive criticism
2. Be open minded
3. What you out in is what you get out
4. Don't judge be a reader
5. Highlight what work & what need to be strengthened
6. Ask questions, elaborate, expand
7. Description add details
8. Organization issues/ Repetition
9. Confusion
10. Thesis/Argument/Evidence
11. Read draft first/ Read 2nd time
12. Conversation writer has to be active

Autobiographical Mixtape 

1. I Won't Complain - Rev. Paul Jones

This song helped me deal with my Pop Pop's death. The song is basically talking about how we shouldn't focus on everything that's wrong in our lives because there's so much that's right. Something my mom always told me to do was to count my blessings. At that time my outlook on life was very negative since my friend had just got killed that summer. I did a liturgical dance to this song the Sunday before the funeral and surprisingly it was sung at his funeral. I always listen to this whenever I feel as though I'm complaining too much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ_V5Jdoy2g

2. Encourage Yourself - Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City singers

During my 8th grade year I was very insecure about my height. My mom listened to this song a lot since she was unemployed it was hard for her to not have something to do all the time. She was used to being a busy body. She also thought me and my dad felt different about her since she wasn't working. This song helped me and my mom stay encouraged. We helped each other through our trials. I always told her she could get any job she wanted to if she tried. Everyday she would tell me that my height makes me beautiful and that it's a blessing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y6BHfaUUYo

3. How Long Will They Mourn Me - Tupac Shakur

This song reminds me of my friend Issaac who was murdered this summer. In the song Nate Dogg says, " I wish it could've been another. How long will they mourn my brother." This is the question I asked myself while everyone was mourning. How long will this pain stay in my heart from loosing a friend. We all wish it could've been someone else he didn't deserve that.  During the song they are just speaking about how much they love their friend and reminiscing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjM8_WjzvA8

4. Sing About Me - Kendrick Lamar

This song is just a favorite. Although it speaks about how we should appreciate and remember people while they're with us. He also is talking about a young girl and how she's struggled in life. The system messed her up but she made it through. This could be a message to any young girl but the song honestly just makes me grateful for the life that I have. I know it's not perfect but there's always someone doing worse than you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtIr8k4eC7o

5. Only God Can Judge Me - Tupac Shakur 

A lot of people worry about what other people think about them. At the end of the day regardless of what I do I know only God Almighty can judge me. I use to worry myself so much that I gave myself anxiety problems. When I finally realized you can't please anyone and they find flaws in everything you do, you get sick of it. I am who I am and people are always going to talk. Tupac helped me realize this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh9S4vLDDOI

Blog 3R

In class we discussed the difference of reading for information and reading for critical thought. Reading for information is easy. It's something simple. While reading for critical thought takes a little longer. Our professor shared with us that everything you read, you should read twice. Once to get the gist of the story or essay and twice for really analyzing the text. 

My freshman year of high school my english teacher taught us techniques to use when annotating a text. There were six things that she recommended but I only remember three. Making connections, questioning the text, and vocabulary. Making connections to the text gets you familiar with the situations in the story. If you can identify with the writer than the text will flow. Questioning the text allows you to share your thoughts with someone else who might have understood what you didn't. Being familiar with the vocabulary allows you to understand the text a lot better. When you don't know a word in the text you should look it up and find out how you use it properly.

Critical reading just requires a little more thought than reading for information. Reading something twice won't kill you. In the end it will make you a stronger writer and reader.